this is old, but funny
The night
was as a blot of ink.... clouds could barely be detected
hovering menacingly above the schloss schlemmin castle
if one stoped on could probably hear the wind and the book
debating the comming electricity
as it playfully jumped from cloud to cloud
on an occaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasion, a quick bicker of thunder could be heard
reaming through the sky
the air was heavy, one could suspect it was keeping the rain at bay
perhaps in legue with the thunder
whial the grass of later autumn pined away with the leaves on the surrounding treeeee
a pitty it was
that durring these hourse the colors of the slow death of summer, could not be appreciated
only the impending rain was on the mind of the guard
as he stood stifely at his post
it would be correct if the reader assumed he was impatiently
waiting
waiting for the day a small building would be built in which to house him
but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
he should have a small building ok yes small building
the small gard building, aproxamately the size of a poor man's one room hut
was stationed just inside the iron worked gate.
one could wonder
was the gate and the surrounding iron fence (not to mention the small gard unit) there to keep people out
or in
the vast grounds it ecircled
BACK TO THE GUARD
we should not let our attention wander like this
he squints his eyes in the apporaching lite of the car of which make and modle I have not clue to
but it is shiney and black
the headlamps blinding the irritable gard
and the scattered lighting reflecting off the glass of the screen
He was fully prepared to open the heavey
o\(with swear word accompanyment Im sure)
however, much to the small minded man's surprise
and he was a bit jumpy
must be all the electricity in the air
yes
MUCH to his surprise, the car did not pull in to be receaved. It stopped and out stepped a man.
A MAN
at first
quite unremarkable
no lighting flashed at his presance
no thunder accompanied his foot steps
however
the wind seemed to greet him, surround him
for a moment wrapping around him like a panting obnoxious lover who doesnt know when to get a room
His black coat flapped around him as he took off his hat, holding it in the same hand as he heald the BROWN and worn, obviously over used briend case
and since Im taking the time to discribe the breaf case with the copper locking system
I should take a moment to talk about the shine on his very polished, highly expensive shoes as well
.....
his feet trod on the packed eath with out a problem regardless of the small rocks and pit holes littering it
quite an accomplishemt dont you think??
The newly arived man IN BLACk handed over his papers of introduction as well as his id just as the surely guard demanded them
The gueard however, is incredably distracted by The Man In Black's appearance
not because the guard fancies men,,,, no no nothing like that,
however I will skip this time to explane why the guard is destracted
yes
I must make you wait
but at least you know now
that there eeessss somezing about zis man in size Nior attire
yes
then the man, sure as you please
with the grace and confidance of a cat stalking its prey
he walks up to the Main door of ze castle
(the dictating voice in my head is alternating between russian/german and french accest I must make fun of this as well, so please excuse me whial I do so)
Fffffffffffffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrr
away
standing in the center of the doorway
is the Butler
he is an older man
and he is waiting for the MAN IN BLACK to become visible in this, the night of a dark moon (where a dark man waits for a dark purpose --- oh wait, that's alladin)
but at first the oooooooooooonly thing the bulter can see
is the palor of THE MAN IN BLACK's face. For that is the only skin showing you see
he wears gloves
this man
as he purposefully, yet, casually walks in the dead of night, in the begining of the storm with only the bickering elements for company blah blah blah with his long ankle leingth BLACK coat whipping majestically behind him
how this is seen by the butler in the darkness I do not knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww maybe a lamp post to guid cars is lighting the way
for this is a castle
not just any castle but one
in germany
(somewhere, I foggotted where it is exactly but you should see the pictures,,,, so pretttyyyyyyyyyyyyy)
The butler, stands asside to allowe THE MAN IN BLACK's passage through the door.
he does NOT offer to take his coat and hat
he is pondering THE MAN IN BLACK's appearance
he has not shown a bit of the surprise he feel due the wonderful invention of the intercom/phone system the guard used to contact him , to let him know of the immanant arivel of
THE MAN IN BLACK
now here is where I describe MAN
whiail the butler takes him to
The Mother
who is waiting with a dinner tray for two
in her personal study
on the second floor
east wing
THE MAN IN BLACK
he is six feet or sooooooooooo maybe an inch or two more
he has 'aristocratic cheek bones' (no idea what the hell that is sposed to mean)
a rectangular shaped face (as apposed to triangle)
I have yet to decide on his mouth shape hahahahaha
he has roman nose
strong french jawline
and eyes the shape of a hawk
non of these are the things that are causing startlement
untill you take in account his EYES
yes
his eyes
they are an unnatural shade of dark emerald green
oh
did I meantion he looks like he is 17 yrs of age???
why
they were expecting a full grown MAN not this
this
teeney boper creapy ass moving thing
dumdumdudmdudm (yes big brass drumssssssssssssssssssss)
Bulter is quesey and wishes nothing more than to get away from this man
who he strongly suspects is a borderline psychotic
and his wish is granded by his mmistress
the stron prominant looking OLD LADY
just in case I dont get the time to mention this
since I have yet to figure out how to place her minor charactor flaw
she is an EVIL SADISTIC CUNT
(clears throte)
she too is surprised by his lack of age
and here
dear reader I have completely failed to describe the path he walked, the starecase
the room itself THE GODS ARE DAMNING ME THIS NIGHT
(the author crieys to the heavens
so back to the walk from the foyer \foy er
or
foy a (long a sound) the way they pronounce it in spiderman gives me the fucking chills
a a spider ohhh I should put one in here
yes
a cluster of them
wonderful creatures arent they??
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(author stops for a short cigaret break to curse her damn writers block)
how far are the stares, should they be in the turret
hmm maybe its just better this way (sobs the author in frustration)
as they walk
through the quite of the castle
those nicely polished shoes make
NO NOISE
but you can hear the butler
this of course makes the butler a bit more edgey
THE MAN IN BLACK
is rather thinley built... but not imanciated,,, forgot to mention that earlier
so at least he isnt pale and gaunt.... that would just be way to overdone and look at that
forgot about his hair
since I make it a point to reveal he is carrying his hat insted of wearing it
His hair
is cut kinda hitler youth of america like
with a cross of 90's skater boy, ya know, volume on the top enough for his bangs to fall in his eyes a bit but other than that very cleanly cut around the ears and very short, kinda shaved in the back
and his hair is of course BLACK and shiney and pretty curley
those pretty soft curls........... sighhhhhhhhhhh
yes
they are walking
walking walking
down a corridor type thing that should be uh
tapistries?
(no mr jones wrong movie)
but there must be tapestries
this is a castle
(ok, fine, midevil restored tapestires down the walkway toward the stares)
due to the unavalability of the floor plan ..... I think I will be rather inconsistant about the inner structure of the castle on purpose just to convey my frustration with the matter
(can THE MAN IN BLACK wear a zute suit??)
wrong era dear, wrong era
*how innapropriate* snif
where the fucking hells are the smells
I have no smells
yes so they are walking
walking
down a corridor
with very georgous bright gaudy blue carpet and vivid crusadian tapestries
then all of the sudden it hits them both
the smell of gently falling rain
a complete contradiction to the quabbeling of the elements outside
as there is of course a draft mr jones
(alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarm)
then they mount this completely unrealistic spiral starecase that leads to the
back enterance of the Main Studdy of
THE HIGH MATRIARCH
yes
there she sits. waiting patiently for
THE MAN IN BLACK
there is lamplight, placed stratigically on eather side of her massive white desk (what kind of wood is that again)
seated in a high back chair, in a pose so utterly regal you would think she was royalty
her hair piled tastefully apon her head, with a string of jewles, looking as if she came from another time period, perhaps renasaunce france
her gey eyes are small yet pericing, and she is emitting a massive amount of presance
she is not one with whom to fuck in other words
as old as she is
she posseses a vitatity that belays her age... hmm hows that sentace
she then dismisses the butler who wants nothing more than to get away from
THE MAN IN BLACK
(every time I type that I hear this really deep man voice and there is a slight echo)
She eyes him
not with suspicion
nor with curiosity
but a penatrating look as if she is attempting to discover his secrets
for even though he looks about seventeen
he has been known to THE FAMALIES for as long, as she can remember, even before her time
(there should be a crack of thunder followed by a ream of lightening,,, but so cleache)
*its actually raining like that rt now, which is why it keeps wiggalling its way in here)
The smells of the food (what ever is on the tray 0---- I know STUFFED PHEASANT -- apracot glazed
with a side of asparagus
ieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
two glasses have been provided next to a cherry bottle
THE MAN IN BLACK
has been called here because of his capacaty as the finest mentor
not to mention his knack for selective breeding through genetic manipulations
kinda like
if we were horses. or doggies
he pairs people
he also trains them
for what
you may very well wonder
Im NOT gonna tell rt now
exactally
you know there's more to it
but
he is there to train her successor
that she has a successor is entirely secret,
only three people now know
hubby, matron evil bitch and THE MAN IN BLACK
and i end it all there
mostly
he does prove his resourcefullness by bringing the gods be damned floor plans
and files on every person living in the castle
including
(more big brass drum roll)
the scientists,, doctors and sugjects
(maniacle laughter)
as he leaves
THE MAN IN BLACK
he throws away his attache case
takes his hat and coat
but puts neither of them on
did I meantion
he is wearing all black?
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